The Birthday Edition

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Woman celebrating with picnic

Photo by Rachel Claire

It’s official…I’m 50 today. Or, as I will probably refer to myself for the next year: I’m 30 with 20 years experience.

And to be perfectly honest, I’m struggling a bit to not struggle with it. I feel kind of bad even admitting that, since I realize more than most, that’s it’s a blessing to make it to this age. Why do we get so stressed about age, especially those round numbers? And I feel comfortable about saying “we” because I don’t think I’m alone in this. People have always joked about mid-life crises. Unfortunately, I don’t have the bank account to support running out and buying a sports car but I did get a little crazy at the hairdresser last week and said we have to do something different…lol.

The Bad News about 50

I was certain I would have achieved more life goals at this point in life. Mainly, I think I’m most disappointed I’m not a best-selling author yet.

My body is also starting to feel like I’m 50. The knees hurt, the feet hurt, I’m always hot, etc.

Somehow I also thought I might have remarried or at least found a new love by now. Of course, I’ve not been motivated or brave enough to do anything about this either.

The Good News

The good news is that I still get surprised looks when people hear how old my kids are followed quickly by a comment that I don’t look old enough to have kids that age.

Also, although I am not where I thought I would be in life at 50, I’m fully aware that I have plenty of time in this second chapter of my life that I’m in. If I could figure out how to stop being a workaholic, it’s possible I could even get a novel completed, right?

More importantly, despite bad feet and knees, I am in relatively good health. I’m also motivated to keep working on bettering myself. Drinking less diet coke and more water, getting into a semi-regular exercise routine, and even eating less fried food are some baby steps I’m taking. I’m determined to hang in there with the hopes that my kids eventually get around to making me a grandma. (Sorry boys, you know I had to throw that in there but it’s my birthday, so I’m sure you’ll forgive me!).

I’ve managed to raise 2 awesome young men! That’s really so much more important to me than getting the nice home or seeing my name on a book at the bookstore. They make me proud everyday and they spoil me a lot more than I spoil them now.

Let’s Lighten Things Up-Fun Holly Facts

So let’s lighten things up with some fun Holly-isms that I’ve discovered about myself in the last 50 years. Some of you will recognize these, some might not:

  • I love my sweet tea, chai lattes with brown sugar, and diet coke. If I’m drinking water, it’s probably going to be berry flavored Propel. Plain water bores me to tears.
  • I’m a pillow snob. I’m currently obsessed with my Purple Harmony pillow and my memory foam body pillow
  • I love to read. Thanks to my bookclub of 15+ years, I’ve read a wide variety of authors and genres but Danielle Steel is still my favorite “comfort food” author. I know how the plot is going to go in 97% of the books but that’s okay. Kristin Hannah is another favorite but she’s definitely going to be a grittier read in most cases.
  • Soothing music/sounds/chants, like those meant for meditation purposes or to help you fall asleep, make me want to punch someone in the throat. That’s weird right? It literally makes me anxious.
  • The only things I want well-done food-wise, are hots dogs cooked over the fire and marshmallows. And don’t think you can be like my dad and just turn the burnt side over and I won’t notice because I will. Sorry Dad.
  • It takes quite a bit to get me mad but when you do, I can hold a grudge. My husband and I were complete opposites in this. Rick would get mad at the drop of a hat over something small but then it was over. It would take me forever to get mad but then I’m going to be mad for a few weeks, lol.
  • I hate apologizing. Luckily I’m rarely wrong, so it’s not been a huge issue in my life, ha ha.
  • My email address is still @aol.com. Yep, not going to be able to hide my age with this one, lol.
  • Love Hallmark movies…kind of the same as the Danielle Steel thing. You know how they’re going to turn out the majority of the time, but that’s okay. It’s usually a feel-good ending and don’t we all need more of that in life?
  • HGTV is also a guilty pleasure. I usually fall asleep to House Hunters most nights.
  • If you get only one phone call, whether you’re in jail, or need to phone a friend for a game show answer, you should probably call me because I always pick up. Doesn’t matter what time it is, I’m always sure someone’s having an emergency and I take the call.
  • I have an addiction to calendars, planners, journals, and nice ink pens (preferably colored gel ink pens). 
  • People seem to think I’m funny sometimes. Really I think I’m just mean, but I can put a good-natured spin to my meanness so I think for the most part people like me anyway.
  • I post way too many pictures of my boys on Facebook. Can’t help it…they’re my life and the sole reason I survived losing Rick. I wish with all my heart that I had more pictures of Rick but Facebook and smart phones weren’t a thing back then unfortunately. My boys are generally a good sport and patient with their mother though. It’s just another reason I love them so much.
  • And lastly, I have the best family and friends ever. Family and friends (often the same thing in my case) that have helped this single mom raise her two awesome kids. Love having friends that never seem to mind their single friend always tagging along as the 3rd or 5th wheel too!

So, here’s to the next decade. I’ve still got big dreams to fulfill so I’m going to pout for just a day or two at being 50, I mean 30 with 20 years experience, and then I’m going to get busy. I am going to find a better work/life balance. I have novels to write, places to go, and who knows what else to do!

 

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