Photo by Ashford Marx
How many of you have a tribe in your life? How many of you know what I’m talking about when I ask this? Your tribe are YOUR people! They’re the people you call when you have a crappy day or a great day. They’re the people who love your kids almost as much as you do. It’s the people that you’re just as comfortable laughing with as you are crying with. Your tribe is quite simply a support system!
My greatest fear when I lost my husband is that I wouldn’t be able to raise our boys by myself. Guess what? That was a legitimate fear. I have two awesome young men now and it’s because I had such a crazy, large, awesome tribe over the years. I certainly could never have raised them without the support of these people.
Both sides of our family have always played a huge role in our lives. My parents took us in immediately after Rick died and helped out immensely as I changed jobs and went back to school to finish my degree. I had two sister-in-laws that helped out with babysitting over the years. Other family members provided emotional and financial guidance over the years as various struggles popped up. Grandpas stepped in for the Donuts with Dad events.
Friends are also tribe members. I can’t even begin to tell you how great my friends are. There was the friend who came and stayed with me the entire day after Rick died as I waited for our family to make the trip from Louisville to Wichita.
There’s the friends that arranged for mutual friends to come and help you figure the ins and outs of dealing with diabetes when Michael was diagnosed at 13. And all the other family and friends that learned about the disease so they could help out.
There’s my book club girls that I’ve been with for nearly 14 years. We’ve had babies born, kids that have grown up, grandbabies born, illnesses, new jobs, and more. Our group is so much more than a group of ladies that like to read (and eat).
My best friends can be called at any hour of the day or night. We’ve vacationed together, their husbands have helped my boys out learning all the guy stuff that I know nothing about, and they’ve occasionally even given the “You better not pull this shit again” speech for me. Thankfully that only happened maybe twice, they really are good kids, lol. My kids know they can call my friends for just about anything they need, just like they can me.
My friends have helped my boys out with college recommendations, resume’ help, career advice, and even helping them out with finding their first home. They commiserated with me over the years when the kids were driving me crazy and they’ve celebrated with me on their successes.
Over the last 3 years, my normally healthy self has experienced a nasty bout of Covid, a deviated septum surgery, and a foot surgery that meant no walking or driving for nearly 9 weeks. Guess who was there to drive me to appointments, drop off food and diet cokes, and get me out of the house when I was driving myself (and them) crazy?? Yep, my tribe.
I generally consider myself a positive person. I try to look for the best in people and life. Sometimes you get kicked in the gut by life though. Sometimes I get too wrapped up in my head and doubt myself and my life. My best friends are the ones who have sooo much more faith in me and my abilities then I do. They’re also not afraid to call me out on my shit. These are the people you need in your life. Not just people that will tell you what you want to hear. They tell you what you need to hear.
And last but not least, I can’t forget my sons. These two are my reason for everything I do. They’ve always made me want to do better. As a single parent, I’ve certainly not been able to always give them everything I’ve wanted to. They’ve worked hard at everything and have made me so very proud.
Moral of the story or post?? Find your tribe. Also? Be part of a tribe for someone else. Don’t have a tribe? Call me, I’ll be happy to be part of your tribe!
