This time of year is tough on people. Shorter daylight hours, often cold and gloomy weather, and the stress of holidays, whether it’s because of financial reasons or other reasons can cause a serious case of the blues for people. Holidays aren’t always to blame for the world’s problems though. I have several friends and family members struggling now with different issues and it’s caused some reflection on my part.
There might be 4 seasons to the year but I believe people go through different seasons in their lives as well. I had a brief but wonderful season where I was in the honeymoon stage of my marriage. I had a husband I loved and adored and two beautiful baby boys. We were living halfway across the country from our family for the first time and living paycheck to paycheck most of the time but we were happy with our little family.
The season shifted and overnight I became a widow who had to figure out how to function on my own with two little boys. It was a dark and scary season that I thought would never end. Thanks to family and friends we adapted though. It was crazy hard and crazy rewarding, sometimes both in one day but it was worth it. I certainly wish we didn’t have to go through it but it made me stronger than I thought I could ever be.
This is a new season in our lives as well. Both boys are in college, one is living at home and the other is in a dorm in Bowling Green. They are both pretty self-sufficient now and it won’t be long before they’re both out on their own. I’m working two jobs right now. Financially it’s a necessity at the moment but honestly even if it wasn’t a financial necessity I would probably still be working a second job or be wrapped up in a volunteer activity because I don’t think I know how to not be needed like I was as a single mother. I find myself wanting to freeze time.
A friend that’s struggling right now recently confessed that she’s guilty of looking at others and comparing herself to them and feeling as if she’s lacking in some way in comparison. It seems like we have opposite problems but maybe not. It’s a rough season for both of us in many ways. She’s struggling to see past this season though or realizing that’s what this is… just a stormy season in her life.
This might be a stormy season for me as well but somehow despite the financial struggles right now and the worries over relatives that are struggling and feeling a little less needed by my boys, I’m somehow fairly content with my life. I’m concentrating on my finances, I’m happy in my new little condo, I’m writing more than ever despite the extra work hours and I’m trying to figure out what my second life stage will entail. Of course I’d love to be able to work just one job right now or help my boys a little more financially or help my struggling relatives more but I’m content. Life has certainly thrown us some curveballs over the years so who knows, maybe it’s naïve to feel this level of contentness right now, but I’m going to continue to pray for my friends and family and help however I can without setting my own family back and hopefully the next season for us all will be full of sunnier days.
