Monthly Archives: October 2017

Different Seasons of Life

This time of year is tough on people. Shorter daylight hours, often cold and gloomy weather, and the stress of holidays, whether it’s because of financial reasons or other reasons can cause a serious case of the blues for people. Holidays aren’t always to blame for the world’s problems though. I have several friends and family members struggling now with different issues and it’s caused some reflection on my part.

There might be 4 seasons to the year but I believe people go through different seasons in their lives as well. I had a brief but wonderful season where I was in the honeymoon stage of my marriage. I had a husband I loved and adored and two beautiful baby boys. We were living halfway across the country from our family for the first time and living paycheck to paycheck most of the time but we were happy with our little family.

The season shifted and overnight I became a widow who had to figure out how to function on my own with two little boys. It was a dark and scary season that I thought would never end. Thanks to family and friends we adapted though. It was crazy hard and crazy rewarding, sometimes both in one day but it was worth it. I certainly wish we didn’t have to go through it but it made me stronger than I thought I could ever be.

This is a new season in our lives as well. Both boys are in college, one is living at home and the other is in a dorm in Bowling Green. They are both pretty self-sufficient now and it won’t be long before they’re both out on their own. I’m working two jobs right now. Financially it’s a necessity at the moment but honestly even if it wasn’t a financial necessity I would probably still be working a second job or be wrapped up in a volunteer activity because I don’t think I know how to not be needed like I was as a single mother. I find myself wanting to freeze time.

A friend that’s struggling right now recently confessed that she’s guilty of looking at others and comparing herself to them and feeling as if she’s lacking in some way in comparison. It seems like we have opposite problems but maybe not. It’s a rough season for both of us in many ways. She’s struggling to see past this season though or realizing that’s what this is… just a stormy season in her life.

This might be a stormy season for me as well but somehow despite the financial struggles right now and the worries over relatives that are struggling and feeling a little less needed by my boys, I’m somehow fairly content with my life. I’m concentrating on my finances, I’m happy in my new little condo, I’m writing more than ever despite the extra work hours and I’m trying to figure out what my second life stage will entail. Of course I’d love to be able to work just one job right now or help my boys a little more financially or help my struggling  relatives more but I’m content. Life has certainly thrown us some curveballs over the years so who knows, maybe it’s naïve to feel this level of contentness right now, but I’m going to continue to pray for my friends and family and help however I can without setting my own family back and hopefully the next season for us all will be full of sunnier days.

Failures and Setbacks

I knew September was going to be a busy month but Wow! I feel like I barely had time to breathe last month. Parents weekend was a fun time though and celebrating with Michael and friends for his 21st birthday was fun as well. It was my first month of working my “full part-time” hours at my second job and although I’m not as exhausted as I thought I’d be, it definitely requires some crazy time-management skills working 60 hours a week and still trying to eke out a life for yourself.

That being said, I totally bombed my September goals. Sigh…

I did not write everyday and I ended up with one blog post instead of 8. I did, however,  splurge and purchase the writing journal I’d had my eye on. I have flipped through it but not started writing in it yet. I want some devoted writing time to spend on it.

I hosted book club at my house but our barn door was not hung yet and neither were any other pictures in my house. Oh well, it was still a fun time with good friends.

Pretty sure I didn’t have 14 no-spend days but to be fair I didn’t track this in anyway. I would guess I might have had 7 or so. It was an expensive month between traveling to Bowling Green for parents weekend and celebrating Michael’s birthday. We also had some car repairs thrown in there. It could have been much worse though because I didn’t have to pay for lodging in Bowling Green thanks to good friends who let me tag along in their camper. Shout out to Jeff and Cyndi for saving me some $$$$$’s.

I also didn’t finish my 30 day AB workout. Why? Because it got too hard, lol. Sigh…

So it’s nearly the middle of October so it seems a little late to be issuing an October goals post but here’s my plans for the rest of the month…

Taking a mini-trip to Pigeon Forge with Michael for his Fall break. Found an inexpensive hotel for one night and hopefully we’ll be able to find some low-cost activities to do.  I’d be happy just finding a corner somewhere to read a good book and do some writing and be “away” from real life for a couple days.

I MUST complete the FAFSA. Not a fan of doing this in October now but also not a fan of having huge college bills for my kids.

Unfortunately it’s going to be another expensive month. Nick’s birthday is in a couple of weeks and I have to buy a new toilet and we have this previously unplanned trip. Hoping fall weather will show up soon and drop my electricity bill even further to offset some costs. I’ve been trying to meal plan also since I’m usually working at least two nights during the week now.

Fitness-wise my goal is to get to the gym at least twice a week and hit my 4500 step goal at least 5 days a week. I know 4500 steps doesn’t sound like much but for someone that sits at a desk for 9 hours a day, five days a week, it’s tough to get even that some days.

I’m also trying to write something at least 5 days a week and read three books. I think I’m going to aim for 4 blog posts. That’s probably more realistic than trying to crank out two a week right now with my schedule.

It’s rough having months like September where you feel like you “failed” at life because you didn’t hit all the goals you set for yourself but you have to keep plowing forward. I have a busy schedule and I like to set lofty goals and I know if I don’t set these goals then I’ll find myself getting lazy in my off hours and I don’t want to get stagnant in life. I might not be moving forward as much as I like but I’m still getting stuff done and without setting these goals the only thing I’d be advancing in is Candy Crush.